Confessions of a 4 Year Old

I knew Halle was lying to me today but I got more than I bargained for when I probed her for the truth. Here is a short version of the conversation:

Halle: "Mom, Colby was just tricking you when he told you that I was close to kissing Ben on the mouth (cousin) and that I really did kiss Caden (another cousin)."

Me: "Halle, tell me the truth. Did you really kiss Caden and try to kiss Ben?"

Halle: "No, I promise I didn't. Colby was just tricking you."

Me: "Why would Colby make something like that up? What would Caden say if I called him and asked him?"

Halle: "Okay. Fine. I did it."

And then she continued... "And then I only ate a little bit of paper. And I only tried eating a tiny bit of poop."

Me: "Who's poop?"

Halle: "Mine."

I guess when she was in the mood to spill the beans - she wanted to let it ALL out there so she just confessed to everything. I don't know. I was so grossed out I quit asking questions. I don't even want to write more about this. I'm still trying to recover.